Thirteen years old can be a very critical age in a girls life. It is not easy being thirteen when your body is raging with new hormones. It's the year we graduate from 7th grade to 8th grade. For most people, it is the year we start getting some independence but for me it was the year that my parents got a divorce.
I knew that it was coming yet there were mixed emotions involved. On one hand I was happy because I knew that they would never be happy together again but on the other hand, I was infuriated that they did not take my siblings or my opinion into consideration. It was a constant family battle for my siblings and myself which is why i felt as if i had a huge responsibility towards my siblings and had to grow up faster than the average thirteen year old. My immediate reaction was the same as every other child coming from a divorced family, blaming myself. At the age of thirteen, i was caught between a rock and a hard place. It was something i didn’t enjoy, felt as if my childhood was no longer belonged to me, it was now my parents. I lost myself more and more in every effort i made to please each side of the family.
My parents did everything to remain close together, divide time evenly and reassure me and my siblings that they both love us just as much as before. Even with all their hard efforts, I dealt with something that some kids might see as “cool” however it was something that i was tired of. I was frustrated of living in two different homes with two different bedrooms, different clothes, different friends and a different set of rules. I had tried to please everyone while anxiety flooded through my body. Who would i spend Christmas Eve with? Should i visit this family or that one? Will they be offended if i don’t make it on time?
A very vivid memory i have was meeting the woman who is now my dads spouse. It was frustrating seeing my father with another woman and watching him treat her kids as if they were his own. She was basically a second mother but i never really saw it that way, i saw her as a third parent instead. It took me time to adjust to the new family and their traditions but now i can’t see my life without them. I didn’t lose my dad to that woman. Instead I gained a parent and three new siblings. I remember feeling crushed at the thought that my father would love them more than me. However i failed to take in account their feelings. My dads spouse was scared to meet us, she didn’t want to take my dad from me. All she wanted to be there for me and help me in any way possible instead. My new siblings, to my surprise, felt just like I did. They were scared, they were also adjusting to a new parent and new traditions.
The best advice i can give anyone with divorces parents is not to assume the worst. Sometimes things work out for the better and remember that you’re not the only one adjusting to new things. Even though you may have the hassle of two households, the most important thing is being loved and loving your family.